ima thinker.

i was just thinking today. i love to just sit and think. some people like to talk, talk, talk. but not me. i just like to think! i have lots of opinions about all things, but i don't articulate very well for some reason. i think sometimes i feel like my opinion doesn't matter and most of the time it's different from other opinions and one thing i am not is a debater. i think the ONLY things i would debate are things that are close to my heart. other than that, have your opinion because i disagree. i agree to disagree a lot. ha!

i was just thinking that i don't want to live in this state forever. frankly i love it here. if i could comfortably afford to live here and have another child and keep my career thriving here, i would. but i don't envision this happening. i feel like there is more to life than this. if i could pay less for a house {to buy one} and less for gas and less for groceries and utilities and pretty much everything and have to deal with some snow or different environment for a few months out of the year, then so be it. i dare to say that California is over-rated. and i LOVE it here. believe that. you cannot beat the weather, the atmosphere, the friendly tree huggin' people. you have EVERYTHING you could possibly want here...the ocean & sun...an hour away are the mountains & snow...hiking, camping, fishing, surfing, swimming, entertainment, you name it, IT IS HERE. i will be heart-broken to leave it one day. but i feel like that day is coming sooner than later.

if i could pay less for things, i could have more in life.

i think how Haylee will react. i despise moving. i moved SO much when i was kid. we lived in so many different states and so many different cities within those states. i really did not like my parents for moving me around so much. {sorry mom} but it's true. i was shy and insecure as a kid. it was harder {or took longer i should say} for me to make friends, by the time i made a really good one it was time to move again. it was so hard on me. but, i am a different person than Haylee. Haylee is sociable. Haylee is outgoing. Haylee adapts easiliy to CHANGE. i still don't. ;) Haylee loves talking about moving to a new place, loves the excitement and the adventure of the thought of moving. Haylee is going to adapt SO easily and have SO many friends and is secure. i am not worried at all about Haylee's reaction. it really gives me peace. i am so happy and blessed to have Haylee, gosh i love her so so much...words cannot describe. she is really the best kid ever. maybe one day we'll have a #2 best kid ever {hopefully a boy?!}.

i just want things to move into place and for God to give us a sign. i feel in my heart He already has in some ways. ways i cannot really describe except we aren't fully comfortable, not that we're in a bad spot or anything, but just restless. we know there is something more out there for us. i can't wait to see what is it!

it's awesome to follow the signs and to be WHERE you are supposed to be and when you're a Christian to just know there is a specific PURPOSE to it all...it's quite extraordinary.