NYC

Hi guys! I am sorry I haven't updated you guys w/pics but blogger wouldn't/won't let me. :( I am able to upload to my facebook though, so if you have facebook let me know & I will give you the link (or add me and look me up!).

We are flying home tomorrow night, so I may not have email access until sunday! I will do a slideshow w/all of the cool pics I've been taking! :) We are doing GREAT and have had a WONDERFUL time!

Love
Melissa

the waiting game

i'm just sitting here at the airport waiting. our flight to ny was supposed to leave in about an hour, but got delayed for 2.5 hrs later than what it originally was supposed to be! crazy. poor haylee, she was super excited to fly...she still is, as she sleeps next to me in the black {not so comfy} seat. poor girl! :) i don't think she even remembers flying, but she has flown ALOT since birth...this will prob be the only time she actually remembers...

anyway we are going to be SUPER tired tomorrow..but i just imagine us running off of PURE adrenaline {and coffee of course...i may need a coffee IV by tomorrow, ha ha!}. i'm really excited as i've never been to ny and i hear so many cool things about it. i hope it lives up to all of my expectations...because they're pretty high, LOL! i know it's gonna be crazy, but i'm pretty crazy so it's all good. ;)

i have the laptop {obviously} and i brought my camera cord so maybe i'll get a few pics up on here every night...if i get to! :D yay! pray for us and our 2:30am flight {if you get to read this on time} and i will let you know how everything goes when we get there!

love,
mels

this and that

hi there just thought i'd stop by one last time before our big trip. :) i have 2 more loads of laundry to wash and dry and then throw all of my crap into the huge suitcase tim and i are sharing and i'm ready to go! personally...i'm a little nervous/anxious about the long flight because to be quite honest flying from CA to NY has GOT to be the longest flight i have EVER been on in my life {or so i can remember}.

so i may have to drink a glass of wine or take a pill or something to RELAX. but haylee is so very excited and i'm trying to not be anxious in front of her. ;) i cannot WAIT to see NYC though! i think it will be fun. i have it in my mind of how it will be and i'm sure it'll be something different, but it's going to be an experience i know that for sure.

i feel so incredibly tired today! it's the weather, it's in the 60's which is odd because last weekend it was breaking 100 degrees. crazy CA weather! takes you off guard sometimes i swear. so it's one of those "lazy" days. tomorrow haylee will go to school (our flight leaves later tomorrow night) and tim and i are going to finish packing and just enjoy each other's company. :) i feel like we still have a lot of things to get done before we leave though. i'm always feeling that way! not like if i forget anything we can't buy it in NYC right? ha ha!! silly me!

hmmmmm....what else is there to say? i'm happy to be taking the whole WEEK off of work after the crazy-sick-not so dope (lol trying to talk cool?) week i had last week. but it's ALL good. ;) i hope everyone is having a great LONG weekend! i'll make a slideshow when i get back, i may even update while i'm there i think we are taking the laptop. yaya! peace!!

hi hi hi

Wow I've really strayed from my whole blog experience, now haven't I? I bet I can catch you up really fast...or let me try to as Tim is at the gym and I'm cooking dinner...I don't really multi-task that well...that being said, here we go...

Let's see...let's start with work. This week has been crazy. I say crazy ALOT I understand that, but I don't think I have worked THIS hard in all of my life. :) I think because it's a mixture of 3 (possibly 4?) jobs I am doing all at once. With little to no help. But, that is OK. I am not trying to complain or get guilt comments or anything, by any means. I am just saying...I feel like I am not getting anything done because I'm doing SO many things at once. Do you ever feel that way? I hope I'm explaining it right.

I think I have a slight anxiety problem too. I believe I have always had it, but when I get too overloaded it really shows more. I try not to freak out, but sometimes it just happens. {Right now I want to choke my dog, she is really getting on my nerves...just a little side note for you there...LOL}. It's rough too because I feel like I can't compartmentalize my thoughts and fears and arggh, it is just frustrating at times. At those times, one little thing could upset me horrendously. I am just thinking...hopefully my life will just calm down soon. ;) I think it will.

We are getting ready to go to NYC next week! Yay! We are ALL so super duper excited. :)) Haylee is excited for the plane ride, Tim is excited to see all the sights and I'm excited to just relax and not worry about having to be here or there at a certain time, doesn't that sound like heaven? :) I told Tim, I don't even CARE what we do, I told him to plan it and I'll do it. What a great wife huh? I don't really even care, I just want to go. I've never been and I'm really excited at the photo opportunity I am about to embrace....oh yay yay yay!! Be prepared for photo OVER LOAD upon my return. ;)

School - is - OVER! Yay! I am pretty sure I got an A in that class. My finals went well and I am just proud of myself and excited it's over at the same time. I learned a lot in this one class. I will take 2 classes this fall in photography. Praying I get a DSLR camera by then.

The fam - we are all fine as stated previously just excited about our trip. I signed H up for soccer for the fall and she's still in acting class and we're going slow on the commercials and stuff, we're just too busy right now. Tim and I were both in school, but now it's over for the summer and we aren't taking classes this summer. We have a lot going on this summer too...another Linkin Park concert and birthdays and getting H to where she needs to be and such. :)

I think...I think I'm going to get a tattoo. We will see if I chicken out or not. ;) But I have secretly wanted one for awhile now, just couldn't find the right thing. I think I have found what I want and where I want it...but I'll just keep it hush in case it doesn't happen. You will see! I feel like I'm getting older (will be 29 this year in Nov! argh!) and I think it's just something I want to do for myself to feel young again? Or it's more an artsy thing? I don't know...I don't feel personally tattoos are bad or anything and I found a really pretty {it'll be small and covered don't worry} one.

Anyway...there you have it. My life in a nutshell. :)) I have pics I will have to SOMEHOW post later. Whenever later is. Ha ha, try to keep up with me...bet you can't. Love you ALL!

way to catch up!

Yes so I haven't been the world's BEST blogger. :) I don't know what else to say except I sometimes like to journal and sometimes I would rather not even be NEAR another computer. LOL. This week has really just been nothing short of crazy. On so many levels. I will not take you there. It's ok, it's safer that way. ;)

First of all....school...it's almost over {on Mon!}. Which, I find hard to believe, remember when I blogged about it beginning? Wow! So last night (after a painful long horrible day we won't replay in our minds because it was just bad) I had my final critique! On my five final 'visions'. It was great. I had such awesome feedback and I just know in my heart photography IS what I want to do now. I think I have an eye for certain things and aspects that others just don't see, I can see those things. I am just excited about it all. What do I want more than ANYTHING these days???....a DSLR camera. They can get expensive. I am going to do my research and figure out which one I really really want. I want to take some DSLR classes this fall, so hopefully I will get it before then. ;) Otherwise, I will take more film classes this fall, but I feel like I would like to do digital more.

Here's my final project:

I was/am really excited and I am pretty sure I got an "A" in this class. ;) I still have my final WRITTEN exam to take on Monday. Then...game over. Yay! I liked it but I'm happy to take a break. ;)

Today for lunch I went to Haylee's school, the kinders had a fashion show for the Moms! It was SO SO SO cute. Haylee was dressed in her princess dress up but somehow messed her hair up big time, LOL. But she was still cute and so excited for ME to be there, it just really made my heart happy. Gosh I love that kid. :)) I have pics and a few videos, I will put something together this weekend and put it up on her blog.

Ok well I'm going to go watch The Office now! Hope you have a great weekend. Love ~ Mel

mother's day

If you would've asked me years ago if I wanted to be a mom I would have probably told you no and that I did not want kids. Those words actually DID come out of my mouth years ago. I also said I would never get married but look at me now. ;) I think I was just trying to protect myself from being hurt...by anyone and anything. I saw a lot of hurt growing up; from my mom and dad's divorce (and not really having a relationship with my dad) to seeing my 12 yr old cousin die and my unborn sister die right before she was born (the day after Christmas)...and I wasn't about to put my heart out on the LINE like that just to have something I loved be ripped out from under me.

Things change when you grow up. :) You meet someone you can see spending the rest of your life with, someone who believes in you and thinks you are beautiful and wonderful despite your flaws. That's what happened when I met Tim. ;) We had a short engagement and got married and three years later we wanted a BABY. I think it's the true desire of every young woman's heart. Although, I'd soon discover that motherhood is NOT for the faint of heart.

When Haylee was born my heart was NOT prepared for the flood of emotion that overcame me. From the moment I laid eyes on her and she opened her little puffy eyes and looked at me, we had a moment. God gave me this precious GIFT to raise. (for US to raise rather!) I will never forget that moment that Haylee and I had in her first few hours after being born. Tim had the same emotion as I did. It was (and is) SO real. I was scared to death.

I still am scared and I feel SO unprepared for each new adventure we endure in parenthood/motherhood. I am so afraid to let her go at times and she's only 5! I cannot (and refuse) to imagine when she is an adult and it's time to cut those apron strings, LOL. But I try to embrace everyday with a smile and with a prayer that Haylee becomes a STRONG, Christian, God-fearing, amazing young woman. I don't want her to endure too much pain but I want her heart to be sensitive to others. I want her to be strong and independent and wise. I think we all want these things for our children.

There are MANY times I feel like a big fat failure. I do make mistakes and I do sometimes fail at who I am and I know Haylee sees that. It hurts. But still, in her eyes, her Mommy is a hero. When someone says she is pretty or beautiful she in return says "just like my mama" and honestly it warms my heart. It makes me feel awesome and nothing or no one has made me feel this way (other than Tim) in a very LONG time. I adore Haylee. I would die for her. I would hurt anyone that dare hurt her. I would do it all without a second thought.

I love being her mom. Happy Mother's Day everyone...God bless you all. :)

ALL I'm sayin is...

Well well well WHAT A DAY!  Ok so it started out fairly good.  Better than the day before I must say.  ;)  For reasons I will not brag about.  But let's just say it was a much QUIETER morning.

Life got a little loco after oh about 4pm.  Haylee was due to go to her acting class tonight at the academy and Tim was picking her up.  He calls me at about 4:30 and is furious!  Apparently Haylee decided to SNEAK a pair of scissors and her best friend Carly into the girls bathroom at school and talk Carly into CUTTING OFF HER HAIR.  Oh my gosh!  I honestly knew this would happen, but I kind of figured that she was past this stage, ya know?  5, almost 6 years old and WELL knowledgeable in the respect of CAUSE and EFFECT.  Who knew?!

So yeah, Tim...furious {that's a really low key word for it I think, LOL!}...called me and told me the whole incident.  I guess you would have to know...Haylee has been REALLY sneaky lately.  I think it's the age, but she will sneak candy and stuff into her room and I will catch her in there and I just don't like that.  She also is a HUGE follower.  So if Carly jumped off a bridge, most likely Haylee would be RIGHT behind her.  I really just hope & PRAY that this changes.  I need her to be a LEADER, not a follower.  Ughh....no one ever told me parenting was this difficult!  LOL!

I have my facebook status as "I'm soooo only having ONE kid...this one is too much to handle".  And even though I said it to be funny...sometimes it's true.  I have always said {Tim and I have always said}...TWO.  We want at least 2 kids.  But lately I am just NOT feeling ready.  I feel that life can be so complicated as it stands now, why add more complication {I know that sounds horrible...a child is NOT a complication but a BLESSING.  But anything could happen and it could be a burden.  I hope I am not coming off strong here or offending anyone...just try to understand.}.  Haylee is a great kid.  She does and will continue to make stupid decisions in life.  I will ALWAYS love her, no matter what she does.  But I just cannot picture myself with another one at this point.  Maybe in a few more years?  I know one thing, it will be when I {and Tim of course} am READY.

Sorry...I guess I needed to vent a bit.  ;) So to finish the Haylee story - Tim punished her {no tv or toys} and went to Great Clips to get a bob haircut.  From what I can tell it looks ok.  

"From what I can tell" means...I dropped Haylee off at school at 7:40am and went to work from 8am to 5:40pm and went straight to SCHOOL to finish my final project.  Until 9:30pm.  Now I am home and I should be cleaning because my friends are coming over tomorrow night for a GIRLS night at my place...but yea, I'm too tired.  ;)  Tim did mop the kitchen for me, for that I am grateful.  :)  Tomorrow on my lunch I'll come home and do the rest {not much else}.  

Tim is flying out to San Fran VERRRRRY early in the morning and Haylee and I have to take him to the airport, then come home and get ready for school & work.  Haylee has a field trip to the Zoo.  She is so stoked.  Then after school/work, my 2 girlfriends are coming over and we're going to have chicken asado and MARGARITAS!  Yay!!!!  I am SOOOOOOOO ready.  :))  We will probably play Guitar Hero and go in the hot tub.  Hopefully everything is perfect.....

Thanks for listening to me rant.  I will post a pic of Haylee's  new 'do this weekend {Tim will have the laptop while he's gone!  So Sad!  It's the only home computer we have!}.  Bye for now!

whatta weekend

Well I must say this weekend was pretty chaotic! :) Not so much relaxing, but in the end it was fun. Saturday we kicked it at the house for a bit and then did some errands and running around. In the evening we dropped Haylee off with Tim's Dad and Mom and then headed off an hour away to Tim's brother's house. We had a Rock Band {the video game} party and boy was it C-R-A-Z-Y!

There's a bunch of pics on my facebook if you have a fb account. Anyway...yes, crazy times. :)

I actually went swimming with Haylee in the pool and laid out {after all of my sunscreen wore off! duh Melissa!} and got a horrendous sunburn. I am in serious pain today...I needed today just to recoup from yesterday, LOL. My arms, shoulders, chest, thighs, parts of my legs {just parts, really random!} are RED. Thankfully we have a bunch of aloe vera plants growing in the yard, so I have been pulling off branches and rubbing them all over me like mad. :)) It makes it feel soooooo much better. I do also have aloe lotion I am using. Silly me. I always burn though, nothing new. When pale meets sun it's never a pretty sight. :(

Today, Tim and I listened to a sermon online and we slept in a little bit {until 8am, LOL, that's sleeping in for us!}. Then we headed to pick up Haylee girl. She had a lot of fun, her cousin Lilly also spent the night so those girls always have a blast together. She was pretty tired today too, so we both napped and Tim did all the grocery shopping and he cooked dinner. I LOVE HIM! :) Sweetie pants!

Not really looking forward to work tomorrow...bleeeeh. But oh well. I have a lot to do tomorrow. Not looking forward to it at all!! Plus I will probably still be in pain from the sunburn. Ick. I have decided to skip school tomorrow night already. ;) I have a lot to do, but I figure I'm going in to lab on Saturday anyway, so I will just take a break from it for a night. I think we're going to go see Ironman. yay!! :)

Alrighty...well that's all for now. Have to get off of here and prep for tomorrow. Hope everyone had a great weekend.

uh HUH?

Soooooooooooo. Wow. {you like how I photograph myself randomly just for my blog? I know, I'm crazy.} Today started out just fine and even lunch was fine. Lunch was MORE than fine. :) Lunch was great. I took lunch with two friends and we had an amazing time.

It was after lunch when the poo hit the fan and splattered all over me. I know that's a great metaphor yes? This was big, I made a boo boo but hopefully {please God} I fixed it. I reversed the issue and thankfully I can sleep better this weekend. ;) But wow...um almost had a heart attack.

I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited about tomorrow! We are going to get up early & make a big breakfast {Haylee and I}. Then we're going to clean and do laundry AND THENNNN Rock Band party at Tim's brother's house! I am so excited and READY for that. I am ready to kick it and relax and party and just be myself. :)) I will take pics FOR sure so be on the look out!

Have a super GREAT weekend!

Enchanting?

You guessed it, the picture to your right is the "hope" picture aforementioned in my last post. :) Of course it is what I call the "watered down version" simply because it's distorted through a black and white scanner and then I shrunk it to fit into a jpeg. But I think you get the point, right?!

Yes, Mrs. J...I will send you one. I made about 5 prints of it last night, hee hee. I was trying to get it perfect. I swear I waste more photo paper "trying to be perfect". Being perfect sure isn't cheap!

I actually worked on taking pictures of "joy, peace & faith" tonight. I hope they turn out well. Oh I also did "love" the other day with "hope" and it turned out nicely, but for some reason wouldn't scan properly so I decided to just add "hope". Maybe you'll get "love" later. ;) Hee!

Ok so I was wondering if someone could possibly explain this to me. I hate to ask any one without sounding shallow or narcissistic. But every time I do one of those "name analyzers" or "name definition" type things it always comes up with "ENCHANTING" or "BEWITCHING personality". What exactly does that speak of me? How can one be enchanting? I always thought of princesses being enchanting because of their beauty. But...hello...I know I'm not the most beautiful girl - not even close to looking {or feeling?} like a PRINCESS. So I know it's speaking of my personality, but I just guess I'm not sure HOW one can have an enchanting personality?

So...if you could explain that to me, I will send you a HOPE picture. Ha ha! ;) {no really}