vent. vent. vent.

i don't know if anyone really reads this blog anymore but i just have a lot on my mind today and want to vent.  sometimes i just think TOO hard i think!  ahhh!

i just struggle a lot with the whole parenting thing sometimes.  i am sure all parents do.  but i just wish i knew if the way we parent is the right way and if it's effective.  you just don't know and that's the hardest part for me.  Haylee is a little free spirit.  she has always been this way.  i swear if i wasn't induced she would've been born weeks after her due date....she crawled later, she walked later, but she talked/spoke at 18 months old...i mean she's just ALWAYS done things on HER terms.  so i don't know why i feel like anything else she does is any different.  i just want her to succeed and prosper.  as any good parent would want for their child.  sometimes i just feel like she doesn't excel as fast as i'd like her to.  i know that sounds really obnoxious when i say it {type it} aloud.  it really does.  but i just don't want her to struggle.  when i try to teach her things it feels like there's this barrier in between us, it's so weird!  and frustrating at the same time.  but then once she breaks through and grasps the concept she SOARS.  she really gets it and does well.  but Lordy, breaking through sometimes brings me to TEARS with this child.  i guess she's just hard headed {with parents like Tim and i - i sure don't know WHERE she got it from, LMAO!}.  tonight with simple math {well, beginning algebra actually} it was like trying to teach a dog how to cook.  seriously - i lose my patience at times.  but i get so excited when she GETS it.  :)  i guess i just need to learn patience.  somewhere i've lost mine.  ;)

anyway that is on my chest...and this client who i am supposed to photograph her wedding in a few short WEEKS still hasn't gotten back to me...so no contract in place, no deposit made...hardly any communication {on HER end}.  i just don't get people...why ask for my services if you're just going to jerk me around?  either you commit or don't.  crap or get off the pot people!!  i really hate that characteristic about people.  lay it on me, i'm a tough girl {tougher than i look!}, i can handle it.  i just wish i could READ MINDS at times so i know what people really think of me.  :P  maybe not.  i don't know, it's just irritating me tonight especially {2nd grade math teaching does that to me, puts me over the edge, ha ha ha ha!  kidding....}.

there are a few other things, but i am feeling better now!