sometimes it's SO hard not knowing the future. there are so many things you dream about and want to happen and for me, being a control freak, not knowing the outcome of something drives me bonkers. absolutely crazy!! i've been like this for a LONG time. i read magazines backwards. i skip chapters in books or read the last page just to see if i can catch a glimpse of the outcome. if i could fast forward movies, i probably would {i usually can't because i am watching them with someone}. life is hard when you live it the way i do. it's a constant mind game!
i just want to know when God.
...when will i have another child?
...when will we move to where you want us to be?
...how, when and why will i be doing what you have planned for me to do {photography, right?}?
...when will all of this happen, and how will it happen and i want to know all of the details too.
unfortunately God doesn't work this way. there's this little {um, BIG} word called FAITH. you have to try it. it's amazing. yet crazy and silly to people who aren't believers {they don't get it. at all.}. sometimes you just have to go in deep and blind and you AREN'T going to know ANYTHING, but you just have to take that L-E-A-P and guess what?....when you have FAITH - you somehow make it. not "somehow"...it's God. but it's incredible. at the same time SCARY. absolutely scary. i just want to know it all and i want to know it NOW {the human nature in me}. but knowing it now isn't as fun and you don't get close to God and you don't enjoy the adventure getting from one place to another in your life journey!
pray for me, tonight i just want to know it ALL and i know i should just keep the faith.
1 comment:
I truely believe that where you are in your life right at this moment is right where God wants you to be! When I wonder when this or that will happen, I just have to remind myself of this! And I find myself doing this more and more often!
Love ya!
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