aye carumba!

there's so much going on in my head right now. i just got done doing a few days i am behind on my Bible study - but i am PROMISING myself (and the girls at the study) i will get to be there tomorrow night! i have been really sick as you probably know...well if not i have had the worst sinus infection for 2 weeks and finally i went to the dr. last tuesday and got Rx for it. i'm on the end of taking the pills and feeling A LOT better. anyway - i think God spoke to me tonight in my study too.

we're learning about the Gospel of Luke. i feel like the gospels really just are repetitive but there is something i really like about Luke. it feels different to me, almost more emotional if that makes sense. i'm really liking it and how God shows people things in different ways and how exactly they respond. for instance when God told Zechariah that his (old) wife Elizabeth was to bare John the Baptist and he second guessed Gabriel (the angel). well he was punished in a way because Zechariah was unable to talk (or hear) until John was born because he second guessed what God was telling him (through the angel).

but on the other hand, when an angel appeared to the virgin Mary, she was humbled and faithful and servant-like. she didn't ask questions, she just obeyed and humbled herself unto God (and the angel). it's amazing and God truly blessed her.

i guess i would be more like Zechariah, even though i tell myself that if i ever had anything close to an angel encountering ME i would fall flat on my face and do whatever it told me to out of sheer FEAR. but being blatantly honest, i would probably have a million questions, therefore not truly putting full force FAITH into it and i would be shushed for almost a year until my child was born. i learn things the hard way...i feel like i always have. i am a little (ok a lot) careless at times. it's not that i TRY to be - i just am.

i made a huge error today but thankfully was able to recover and fix it - but the error still happened. sometimes i feel like i'm under a big microscope too and everyone is just watching for me to fail. i feel like they overlook the GOOD things i do day after day, week after week but shame on ME if i make an error. maybe it's just the pressure i put on myself, as i tend to often do that. i just hope that i can recover my pride and maybe God is trying to humble me in this error too. i don't know...but praying all works out for the best in the end. :)

ok...bed time, i'm pooped, thanks for listening.