push over

sometimes i wish i wasn't such a push over. i get so discouraged and upset in people and their character flaws. i know i have my own and i shouldn't, but it's hard sometimes. i'm a little irritated right now with something that happened, but i've been praying about it all day and have come to the conclusion that i'll just blog and keep my focus on the things in life that REALLY do matter most to me...like my family and God himself.

i ran across a verse today in my Bible study (which i did for an hour and a half today after dwelling on something that was bothering me...it helped!). i don't remember the source or anything by heart but basically it said that the world will fail you, but Christ never fails. i find that SO true. putting your faith in human beings only causes heart ache. i guess i should have known really because all my life i feel like i've let people run all over me. in more ways than one. and i never stand up for what i think {i try not to cause conflict because that bothers me more}. so people just think they can say one thing and do another and i let them. i have to learn how to overcome that, and i'm praying that God shows me how exactly. i don't know if that made any sense at all.

maybe my expectations for friends and family is just too high? i'm not sure. i think my biggest thing lately has been planning things...i plan for months in advance and hound people until {i think} they feel obligated to go and then at the last moment everyone bales out. :) i totally get it though, i can be kind of like a little kid when it comes to things like that. i just want everyone to go and be apart of something i'm excited/passionate about and it does not always happen. i kind of think God must be trying to teaching me about something when it comes to this because it has been happening ALOT recently. i get really bummed out about it also. maybe He is trying to tell me not to put trust into PEOPLE and MATERIAL things, but in HIM alone?

if you could pray for me...it's been weighing heavy on my heart today/tonight. i just am really upset/hurt over it and i don't want the people involved to be upset over it because i understand that is just us as human beings. it's kind of hard not to take personally though. we are planning a Halloween party for Oct 18th and i have decided that i don't really care who shows up. i have sent the evite, i have made the announcement on my blog, sent out emails...if you want to come, awesome. if not, awesome. lol!

i don't want to have an "i don't care" attitude, but i guess in a way you have to at times. ;) a couple of times i've planned get togethers and parties and no one shows...i plan a trip (a MONTH in advance...i think even OVER a month) and everyone flakes out...hard not to take personally...i understand people have lives and get sick, etc. but it's heart breaking if i'm so passionate about these things and they don't happen. i know it's not all about ME ME ME...maybe that's another thing God is trying to instill in my life. i get it. i've decided from now on, i will announce something and if someone wants to go or come, it will happen, if not, it won't.

if the world fails you...Christ will not. it's really all i need to know. thank you Jesus for loving me, for being my Father. for being my SOURCE. for being my life. thank you for my FAMILY who rarely ceases to amaze or fail me. thank you for my friends, even though they irritate me at times (hey...family too, lol). thank you for being the Savior in my life. i love YOU.